Yeti Answers Some Hard Questions

Hey, all you Stuffie Fans! It is I, Yeti, your future Ruler of the Universe! Some of you have been asking how my campaign is going. The answer is that it’s going well. It would be going better with your financial support. And to those of you who’ve promised your dollars if I can prove what it will be used for, I just say, “Important things that I definitely need.”

Some of you have expressed concern that you have yet to hear any actual plans for what I’ll do once I’m in charge. Glad you asked!

I gave my speech explaining all my fantastic ideas.

And then I opened it up for a Q&A.

I called on S’mores first. As my campaign manager, I thought he’d have some well-thought out, reasonable things he needed to know.

“Yeti, will you provide camping equipment and s’mores supplies for everyone in the Universe?”

-S’mores

Well, I’m sure there is camping equipment in the Universe. And s’mores supplies. Deciding about the distribution of those resources will be up to a committee. They’ll create some sub-committees to look into it and they’ll commission a report and get back to us. Next question?

“Yeti, will there be free belly rubs? And, if so, how many? And for how long?”

-Lola

Well, that’s a tricky one. Some people love belly rubs. And some people don’t. What if some people that don’t like belly rubs want to have something else instead? What would that be? Who would decide? What’s fair? It’s really a question of everyone getting what they need… or what they want. Probably not both. Next?