Yeti & S'mores Do Some Campaign Fundraising

Hey, everybody! Guess what? We haven’t given up on the millions of dollars pouring in to support my campaign yet. In fact, if you haven’t yet given us money, this might be a good opportunity to donate to our most excellent cause. From Castles to Palaces to Skyscrapers…

We’ve got huge plans for this Universe that I’m hoping to Rule we all share. Even if you live in the humblest of shacks, you are still important! I know what it’s like to be lonely and ignored because of humble beginnings. To have people make fun of you for your big dreams. Don’t worry, Goatie- we see you!

We say to you, our future constituents, that even if you’re old and shriveled up and decaying faster than you expected, we still see your value. You are contributing in major ways to the world around you. Where would the mosses be without you?

And, no matter your age, we all have days where we feel like we’re just standing still. Going nowhere fast.

Just remember to keep moving forward. Nobody should get too stuck in stone. It’s not a good look for anyone.

And, even though our coffers are emptying from all this worldwide travel, we’re not giving up on this campaign. We’ve just gotten a little creative about a few new funding streams.

This is the perfect time to announce the opening of our first waterpark. Tickets are going fast, so call now! It’s only $1,000 for the first rider and $100 off for each of their friends. We’ll give you a quick tour to show you what all the fuss is about. You start out small on just a wee little waterfall…

Then we added a cold plunge into the mix because we’ve heard it’s very popular with the celebs these days. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Hollywood stars, it’s good enough for us. We think you’ll enjoy it! And it’s apparently really good for you.

We know you’re going to need a jolt to your system to get that old ticker racing again. So, here’s the next part of your thrilling experience…

We don’t want to spoil the rest of your time at the Smeti waterpark, but rest assured, you’ll have the time of your life! Look at how happy our first customers are!

You’ll be hearing more from us soon! Keep those donations and suggestions coming!

-Yeti, your future Ruler of the Universe