Announcing Yeti's Candidacy

Greetings, all you Stuffie Lovers out there! It’s me, Yeti. You see me above perched on top of the world. In charge- just as I was always meant to be! Yeti for “RULER of the Universe”- my election campaign launches now! And you, my friends, are in on the ground floor.

You know how they say you can tell a lot about someone’s character by the company they keep? Just look at who’s managing my campaign…

See? I am legit. And I’m going to be incredible at running everything. We’re going to start changing the world by switching from giant electrical plants to renewable energy. Like these dependable forms of transportation:

Exactly. Horses and their like were used for transportation for millennia. Who are we to start doing all these wild things with rocket ships and giant cars, anyway? It’s time to get back to the simpler things. Like all-organic, sustainable materials. Say goodbye to your artificial ingredients and fossil-fuel-laden blankets. They might be soft & cozy, but nothing compares to….

Aaaahhhh. Lambs’ Ear. Such a wonderful plant. Speaking of cozy, we need to discuss your current eco-footprint. Maybe you should reconsider the size of your home. Do you really need all that space for closets and toilets and things? There’s a reason “tiny homes” are being built all over the country right now. It’s the perfect solution! We think this should be plenty of room…

Speaking of toilets (and showers and sinks), did you know that perfectly good water falls out of the sky on a regular basis? Let’s just start collecting that water in pools and using it to bathe. Here’s a deluxe spa right in the front garden.

We’re not totally immune to your qualms. If you feel extra privacy is in order, just put your spa in the back garden. Or install a privacy hedge like this one. Beautiful, eh?

It goes without saying that a well-balanced life is essential.

Be sure to take some time to relax and enjoy the Nature Channel. Here’s Johnny Whoop making the most of it on a gorgeous fall day.

I know it can be difficult to turn off those screens* and just watch the trees or sagebrush or whatnot. Don’t worry! We have a low-tech solution for all your entertainment needs. They’re called “books” and they’re pretty amazing.

* Do check in with your tech long enough to see what we’re up to, though. You won’t want to be out of touch completely!

And, if you get bored of the Nature and reading, it’s probably time to do some work. Like foraging or harvesting your dinner. Things always taste better when you grow them yourself. (Besides, now that you’ve downsized your home, you’ve got all that space for vegetable gardens, fruit orchards, and dessert… wherever it is they grow desserts….)

If you have any questions or concerns about my campaign for “RULER of the Universe,” be sure to reach out to me. More information (and campaign contribution links) to come.

-Yeti