Yeti Makes Some Campaign Promises

“Greetings and Salutations!” Yeti, here, coming to you from the Northland. My friend Charlotte told me it’s a good idea to put your best foot forward when campaigning. So I’ve been fancifying my language and watching my "p’s and q’s”. While S’mores is working on campaign financing, I’ve been meeting constituents across the country. The Brownie Bears came to me with an interesting proposal. They wanted to know if they could be the exclusive Adventure providers for everyone for the foreseeable future.

I said, “sure, why not?” We shook on it. So, any and all Adventures you might undertake will soon need to be routed through their company. More information to follow once I’m in charge. I like to meet friends where they’re at, so I headed outdoors to chat with Froggy 2.

All the flies a frog can eat? “Sure, why not?” Some of us don’t care much for flies, anyway. They’re all yours. Enjoy! (Gosh, this campaign is going great!) Sneaks wasn’t as easy to please.

15% of all the coffee that gets imported into the US? “Sure, why not?” I’m sure the coffee shops and roasters and households would be more than happy to keep that cute fox in caffeine for the rest of time. You got it! Bamboozled could tell I was in a generous mood and wanted to get in on the action.

Get rid of all the candy that isn’t jelly beans? Wellllll….. that’s going to be a hard sell. “I will look into that one right away. Would you settle for a much larger amount of jelly beans that gets diverted directly to MN?” (Still waiting on a response from our friend.)

Tom the bear overheard some of these conversations. He made it abundantly clear that he has some concerns about my bid for office. He mentioned something about greed and obsession with power and lack of willingness to listen… “Sorry, were you saying something, Tom? I was busy planning my next speech.”

Not really sure what he was going on about…? He left in a huff. It was time to head over to meet with my #1 team of fans here in the Cities, headed by D. Bunny, Esquire. We gathered for a neighborhood meeting. Everyone of importance was there. They all seemed interested and impressed, with the possible exception of Sir Gnomesalot.

(You can see him in the bottom right. Hard nut to crack.) There were many topics to discuss and it took the better part of the day. Lil Gouda is dreaming of a future as an artisanal jam and cheese purveyor.

Meet small business owners and gain market share through partnership and economic expansion? Don’t know what most of that means, but I say, “Congrats! You’re this bear’s favorite jam provider.” Gosh, this is getting exciting. Wonder what the tomtens are looking for?

More lawns converted to prairies and flowerscapes for our pollinator friends? “Absolutely! Then no one has to mow ever again.” You’re welcome, world! It was off to the garage where Alfredo and R. Bunny, Jr. had something cool to share.

Subsidized (aka discount) eco-friendly transportation options? “Sure, why not?” Bicycles for everyone. Who needs cars? You’ll get there eventually… I made sure to save the talk with D. Bunny for last. He was waiting patiently for me outside.

Just wanted me to admire and appreciate your tomatoes? Easiest job I’ve done all day.

D. Bunny wanted you to know you can stop by and have an organic snack anytime you like. They’re pretty tasty, once they’re red.

So long for now! More news on the campaign soon. Thanks for your continued support!

-Yeti (Your Future Ruler of the Universe)