Yeti Does Some Election Research
Hey, all you voting members of the public! And the non-voting members, too- we don’t exclude anyone here! This is me with one of my new BFF’s, Bubba. Bubba lives in Gunnison, Colorado and is going to be a huge asset in my universal takeover election. First Bubba took me to the county courthouse. We inspected the ballot boxes and learned that everyone only gets one vote and it has to go into these special boxes. There goes plan 1 (get S’mores to vote 1,000,000,000 times) and rig the ballots. We might have to focus on legal means.
Bubba came through again with the suggestion we visit the local paper. It sounds like most people do some kind of public announcement of their campaign (check) and then keep publishing about it so their name is everywhere. Coming soon to a paper near you!
Next step? Canvas the streets. In case you’re confused (like some other Stuffies but definitely not me were), that doesn’t mean to cover the streets in fabric. It means you talk to anyone you can find to discover more about their priorities and needs.
This elk wanted us to get rid of all the predators and also grant him unlimited food and freedom. No problem! I’ll do anything in exchange for a vote. Besides, I’m about to have control over the whole universe. There’s plenty of room!
I had a terrific time getting to know Marvin. What a cool new friend! Marvin’s going to put the word out past our atmosphere. Now we’re getting somewhere!
The rock didn’t have much to say. (Do they ever?) Good news! Your wishes are granted, rock! I’ll get that long list taken care of right away…. Okay, done. The next friend we met was all ears.
We had a good long chat. They said they’d talk to all their friends and neighbors and put the word out about my campaign. Awesome! They also suggested I might want to extend my reach and tackle some bigger constituents.
This guy was unhappy about lots of things, let me tell you. First of all, he’s trapped inside a building and surrounded by college students. And they make him walk around helping students write papers and study lab results.
Yep. Made no sense to us, either. Okay, so freedom from work and buildings for the bull. We’ll get right on it! While we were on campus, we thought it was important to get the robot vote.
Not only is there a whole crew of these new friends, they all have snacks on board. You are in! We are going to win this thing for sure!
Whee! We had fun riding around on robots for hours. S’mores said I was getting distracted and that we needed to cover more ground. No problem! I knew exactly where to find a ride.
Hey. I’ve said it once & I’ll say it again. If you’re going to leave a vehicle accessible with the keys in it, then it’s free for the taking.
“Freedom and free snacks for all!” Yeti, Ruler of the Universe 2024