The Latest Heist- Practice Round
S’mores here. We recently had the good fortune to learn how to play blackjack from a former professional dealer. He was teaching us how to shuffle the deck so no one can see your cards and so you don’t damage them. We also learned how to secretly stack the deck (so you get the good cards and the casino loses). But he cautioned us that they know all the tricks and the cameras are rolling, so we’d probably get discovered and end up in casino jail… or worse.
One of the most important things to know about gambling card games is that you have to play big if you want to win big. A working knowledge of probability and statistics is also helpful, because you have to predict the likelihood that you’ll receive a card that will add up to 21 (or close) without going over. That mathematical calculation allows you to place bets to maximize your profits. In this case, Yeti should probably quit while she’s ahead (5’s don’t frequently allow you to win).
As you can see, this next hand is more promising for Yeti. She’s holding a King, which is worth 10 points. So if she has another 10-point card or an Ace, she’s all set.
Did you catch that, though? Yeti’s up to her old tricks once again. This one is never going to work. You can clearly see Yeti’s card right under her leg.
She insists that her craftiness and sleight of hand will allow her to outwit the card dealers, floor walkers, casino managers, and cameras. I keep telling Yeti we need a more reliable plan. What happened to the idea where we just went straight for the money? They keep it all in the basement vault after all…
The difficulty, of course, is that you can’t just walk into the vault. Even if our loving and supportive public gets us all the supplies on our list, we don’t have an plan that will enable us to be successful.
Oh, hang on. Things just got REAL. We found this movie we keep hearing about. We watched it a bunch of times.
No, we’re not going to tell you how many. Nor how many frames we froze to memorize the details. Let’s just say we know a whole lot more about what we’re getting into and things are really coming together.
See, you need a person to distract the casino owner and keep an eye on the floor.
And then you need a lot of high-tech gear, training, luck, some other things we can’t mention, and some explosive devices. No problem.
You can just call me “Ocean” from now on. And Yeti’s going by “Rusty” until this project comes to a satisfactory completion. (She wanted to be Danny Ocean, but clearly I’m the brains of this operation.) Signing off for now…
-S’mores “Ocean” Bear