Rock Climbing- Oregon Coast

YETI

So, I’ve gotta say that I’m an awesome climber! Who knew? It is hard to climb up rocks when you’re a bear. I rocked this 5.10 in record time! It took a layback, flagging, a spread eagle, and a lot of effort. I definitely earned the nap I took at the top. Can you believe the judges didn’t give me extra points for my competitive sleeping?! Also, they didn’t give me credit for protecting my head from falling rocks. None of the other climbers were wearing helmets! I would complain, but I’m still in a little bit of hot water from the fiasco at the Opening Ceremony. And I REALLY want to earn a medal in this one. Hey, does anyone know how to bribe a judge? I might have a gazillion dollars lying around…

TACO

Okay, so I just have one move, but I’m awesome at smearing and palming. So, I just did that…a lot… the whole way up. So what if the judges counted some points off? I still climbed a 5.8 in 2 1/2 minutes. That’s pretty good for a dragon. I would have been faster, but a certain person said my retractable wings weren’t eligible for use in this event. I didn’t want to get disqualified. I’ve been trying hard to be on my bestest behavior since, well, you know, the burning-down-the-whole-venue-for-the-Opening-Ceremony-thing.

LITTLE GUY 2

I knew this event would be incredible!!! Still NOT as fun as stuffie flinging, but you’ll see that soon. Can’t wait to show off those moves. It has to be said, lizards are the most incredible climbers around. There was only one small incident where my bat hang didn’t work out. Maybe I ended upside down, maybe I didn’t. Not going on record either way. I did some great heel hooks, an underhang, and one dynamo. Take that, other climbers! (Oh, sorry, I forgot I’m not supposed to brag. All your climbing is awesome and I was really impressed.)