Little Guy 2 Gets Disqualified from the Games
I must say, this is so unfair! The committee did agree to show the footage of my awesomeness in the Stuffie Flinging Event (which I invented, BTW). That’s the only reason you’re not hearing from me about a major protest I’d be staging right now. I’d be calling you up, circulating petitions, posting videos and Twits and what-not (oh, that’s Tootsies? Toodles? Toucans?)… Doesn’t matter.
To defend myself, here’s what went down. I read the rules for Competitive Sleeping and noticed that the real goal for the challengers is to not wake up. Well, if they’re just taking a nap, how is that competitive? Right! It’s definitely not! So, I got some friends together and we decided to test those sleepers and see who really had the right stuff. We didn’t bother with Buckwheat, because she’s old and been asleep since 1970. (She could give Rip VanWrinkle a run for his laundry! I mean, money.) Anyway, I didn’t think we were doing anything that terrible. See what you think.
So, that worked out great! We found out who the best sleepers were, and no one was hurt. Well, Genie did hit Yeti a bunch, but it was with Spinach. Don’t think any harm was done. And Froggy batted me around a little, but we wrestle all the time, so no big deal. For some reason, the judges were really unhappy, though. (I have to admit, I had a great time ! And isn’t that the point? It’s called the 2020 GAMES.)
Then I decided to surprise my friend Sunshine at the pool. She loves being surprised and is always happy to see me. Also, I wanted to know what it’s like to be an alligator. Turns out, friends are NOT happy to see you when they’re concentrating on diving and winning an event. They don’t want to find you at the bottom of their pool. She said something about not wanting to squash me. Does she remember how fast I am?
And then I found out I was needed at the pool. You see, my friends were competing in the 100M Freestyle and we all participated in Stuffie Flinging. They kept going on & on about how awesome it was and how talented I was at it. Best plan ever- show up and help them celebrate the kickoff of their event and use my new sled at the same time. After all, I’d missed the bobsled races. This was almost as good.
For some reason, that was the last straw. The judges said 3 times and I’m out. Where did they get that dumb rule, anyway? When Katie said that meant I couldn’t compete in the Brownie Eating competition at Monday’s Closing Ceremony, I was SUPER MAD. We went around in circles (until she was dizzy and I was hoarse). Then I made her call some impartial judges. They said I have to abide by the rules and not eat any brownies tomorrow. If I do, they’ll take away my everlasting cookie. (We’ll see about that… Haven’t they heard the expression “have your cake & eat it too”? Watch out, world…