Interrupting This Grad Party...
Fellow Stuffies, “Hello!”
Since we are the oldest stuffies in MN, we were invited to a grad party. First, let us thank them for inviting us. We’re very grateful because there was SO MUCH wonderful food! And, since it was in Minnehaha Falls Park, I took the liberty of inviting all my squirrel friends in neighborhood.
Don’t worry- as you can see, there was plenty to go around for all of us.
Now, wait just a minute!
This is getting patently ridiculous. Yes, I used a big word. It seems necessary! I understand that sometimes other Stuffies get to share their stories. Well, I don’t understand, but S’mores did his best to tell me that’s how it works. And, I guess I can get behind that when you get to go on a super-amazing-trip and see penguins and what not. But, much as I love parties (and I do), this is absurd. My news needs to be front and center.
So, Scotty and Friends- enough of your hogging the spotlight! I’m in charge of this post now.
As SOME of you know, I’ve been working hard in my campaign to become Ruler of the Universe. Recently I had a town hall meeting with some friends in Portland to talk strategy and policy.
Yes, I understand there are doubters out there that don’t think I have any policies. Rest assured, I do and I am happy to talk about them. That’s what the mailboxes are for. You send me your questions (preferrably with cash) and I send you answers (the more cash, the quicker my response.) My audience here earned a 15 minute speech with their contributions.
Were they completely absorbed and enthralled? Why, thank you for asking! I’ll give you that answer free. Yes, yes they were! And they’ve already ordered some of my campaign merch.
What’s that, you say? You’d like to purchase some campaign buttons of your own to proudly sport around town? Well, you can in just a few simple steps.
Go to your local money storage location.
2. Approach the window and demand they give you lots of money. Yours… other peoples…. both. Doesn’t really matter. As long as there’s lots of it, we’re good to go.
3. Avoid ending up in the local paper. Or jail. But, that goes without saying.
On the other hand, if you’re interviewed for the local paper about how awesome and totally qualified I am to be in charge of everything, that’s great. It’s okay to admit the truth! It’s not bragging if it’s about someone else. I look forward to hearing from you soon!
-Yeti